At 3:20am today I caught my first baby.
Sure, I have been to lots of deliveries. I have watched, helped, coached, clamped cords, taken blood, and given congratulations....but I have never been the one in charge.
Today, I caught a baby.
At the time, it was all fun, and adrenaline, and blood and goo and excitement and to be honest I didn't really think about the magnitude of what had happened until I tried to go back to sleep. And then all day today it kept hitting me a little bit at a time. I delivered a baby. I felt its sweet little cone shaped head. I held its mom so that she wouldn't tear. I clamped and cut the cord around her neck, and then as she came out I held her up and passed her to her mom. I held a tiny little girl and felt her take her first breath. I remember feeling this way on my first day in anesthesia - when a patient started to breath on their own as I was bagging them and I could feel the bag move. I could feel them live!
There is something so powerful about life in that form...when it's really on the brink - just beginning, just ending, or just being held in the balance. I mean life to begin with boggles my mind - the more I learn the more I'm amazed that anyone and anything is alive and functioning! But in these cases it is even more powerful. It's as if I can feel the hand of God on them, and on me. And let me tell you - it is intoxicating.
Lots of love
Pamela
p.s. Incidentally - I don't mind the smell of birth anymore. Now it kind of reminds me of the magic :)
You were breathing by the time they passed you to me saying - "here we're busy you hold her for a while" Mom only got to hold you after they were fininshed with her.
ReplyDeleteDoes that make you daddy's little girl??
It's the wonder of medicine that makes it all worth while even the long hours and the not so pleaseant parts of it all.
Luv D ;-*)