Dominican Travel Log

Dear Liver,
I am sorry for what I am about to do.
Love, Pamela

WEDNESDAY 28^th
An uneventful flight which is always nice. I slept the whole way. It was raining when we arrived and looking quite dull in general, but the resort was beautiful anyway. Tried out a restaurant that serves only crepes! Dinner was quite good but really rich.

THURSDAY 29^th
Sun! Had the pleasure of meeting the Vacation Club people on the way to breakfast this morning. They would go on to be known as “the snipers” or “the vacation Nazis” and any sighting of them would lead us to run in the opposite direction. They are essentially telemarketers, but in person. They try to sell you a time share at the resort, but instead of actually saying that outright - they say they have a free gift for you and how you should come into this dark building to get it…and then I’m pretty sure they beat you and brainwash you. There were also Beacher Marketers (telemarketers but on the beach) who try to convince you to walk down the beach to their hut and see what they have for sale. And if I was lucky enough to be accosted without my trusty dusty Michael to keep me safe…well then they would shake my hand and not give it back, then stare at me and say (in a really cheesy Spanish accent) “Jou know…Jou have beautiful eyes”, at which point I would give my very most convincing “No Gracias” and run away.

FRIDAY 30^th
Happy Birthday to me! Possibly the best birthday ever. I spent my morning at the spa having a manicure and pedicure. A lazy afternoon reading and napping. Listened to all the wonderful happy birthday voice messages that people left me (my cellphone bill is going to be painful!) and opened the birthday cards I had brought with me. Then got dressed up for dinner at a pasta restaurant that was fantastically yummy. Huge piece of beef tenderloin….clearly the best way to celebrate any event is with a slab of meat!

Dear Pamela,
I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this. I thought we had always been friends. Please tell me what I have done so that I can make up for this and you will stop hurting me.
Love, Your Liver

SATURDAY 31^st & SUNDAY 1^{st &} MONDAY 2^nd
Hmm…these days have melded together in my head. Must be due to the excessive laziness and reading that went on. I should devote a brief section here to the entertainment at a resort. Basically they have this crew of people who run activities during the day and then put on some sort of variety show at night. All lip synced of course, with hilariously bad costumes, but none the less quite enjoyable. They are called – los amigos chocolates (translation: the chocolate friends). Now I may be wrong, but this somehow seems like a derogatory term…I mean really…it sort of has racial undertones, no? Anyway…they are prone to singing at dancing at random times and they even have their own song and dance (which Michael tells me is actually the same at all resorts in the Carribean…or at least the ones he has been at) which involves them playing this strange song, all half assed dancing while a bunch of drunken people really really try to dance, and one guy on the microphone giving one word instructions about which dance move is coming up next (and to the right, sexy, sexy, then swimming, swimming).

Oh yes, and nothing says New Years like a buffet with giant ice sculptures!
(New Years Resolution - to learn to be patient. How's it going so far?? Not patient enough to sit down and really try to do it.)

Dear Pamela,
I respectfully make the following requests or I am going to be forced to go on strike due to the horrible working conditions:
1) no more alcohol
2) no more dairy products. This includes, but is not limited to, cheese, fried cheese, melted cheese, queso, custard, cheesecake, mousse, anything with whipped cream, anything with cream at all, anything near the cream
3) Pink ladies…come on now – they have alcohol and whipped cream in one drink. You’re killing me here!
Sincerely, Your Stomach.

TUESDAY 3^rd
Quite possibly the best day there. We spent the morning on a tour of Puerto Plata city. Went to a rum factory (nothing like a little early morning wake-me-up!), an amber museum, a couple jewelers, got to see cigars being made, went to a fort that was built in way-back-someyearorother, saw the cable car that goes up to the highest mountain in the Caribbean, and generally got a feel for what its like to live there. The guide was awesome about telling us details of life, how much people usually make, and all that stuff.

In the afternoon we took a horseback ride up into the hills. It was a little surreal. Here we are on horseback on our fancy vacation, riding by little huts with muddy children. However, all the huts seemed to have TVs….strange. Anyway, the ride was SO much fun. My horse liked to race, and I did not object! I won many a race to the top of the next hill with the guide beside me looking panicked that my horse was passing his and yelling – Stop the horse, stop the horse! At the top of the ride we stopped at a bar?! I think?! (It had music, and a patio, and liquor so we’ll call it a bar) that looked out over the island. The sort of place that makes you say things like – “I could wake up every morning to this view” and “I would give up running water for a simple life like this”.

Dear Pamela,
We would appreciate it if you could be a little bit less of a dumbass and be more even about putting on suntan lotion. That way we can all avoid random patches of burning, and silly looking sunglasses tan lines.
Love, Your skin

WEDNESDAY 4^{th
Time to go home. ho hum. An initially uneventful flight but sat at the airport forever, and then once we got to Toronto there was bad weather and closed runways so we had to circle for a while and then land in Hamilton to refuel before flying to Toronto. You can imagine the wise-ass comments that were coming out of me for being on the runway in Hamilton but not being allowed to get off the plane!}

Then they temporarily lost a bunch of our baggage. Something about a whole contained getting moved aside in the airport…not quite sure how they could manage to misplace a container, but far be it from me to question the mighty airport people! And it did lead to the invention of a great game by Michael. It is played when you are waiting forever for luggage and start to get into the giddy tired stage. Simple enough game – called Not Your Luggage. Basically he would watch every bag come out of the conveyor and in a voice loud enough to embarrass me say things like – Not your luggage, still not your luggage, quick but not your luggage, two at once both not your luggage…I think you get the point. And when he got really good at the game it progressed to a sports announcer type voice with a foreign accent recounting that after a heart wrenching match the score was still 20 to nil for Not Your Luggage! Definitely hilarious.

So we are home now! Safe and sound. Rested and happy. Wondering when next I will have the time and money for such a perfect adventure J

Lots of love

Pamela

p.s. Sorry for the lack of pictures...I'm having technical troubles. Check out my Flickr page to see lots of pics from the trip.