One of the major, and most difficult, lessons I have been learning in Texas is tolerance. That might strike you as an odd situation - to learn tolerance in a very opinionated a vocal area - but you really have to learn to choose your battles and choose when and what to speak up about so that at the end of the day you still have a happy life with some close friends in it.
I *adore* our healthcare system in Canada. A goofy lovey mooshy inside kind of happy feeling that I'm not sure I can even express in words. Yes it has it faults, yes funding is an issue, but at the end of the day regardless of the money in your bank account, your job, your social status or your current situation in life - you will get treatment. But here in Texas when you talk about providing health care for all they get very very upset. Apparently universal healthcare is socialist (which is a four letter word of its own in these woods), its a burden on the rich who worked hard for their money and shouldn't have to give it away, and it just shows that the poor aren't trying. They should all just try harder and get jobs and be productive members of society....or so I"ve been told.
I have tried my best to live and practice medicine the same way here that I would in Canada. I will see anyone. We do not turn away someone who can't pay. We do not turn away someone who has outstanding debt with our clinic or our hospital. And we definitely charge WAY less than any other clinic around. For this dedication to healthcare I have been told that I am "an incredibly godly person". Although egotistically that kind of tickled me a bit, the next thought through my mind was - I'm not godly, I'm Canadian! This is what we do! This is the beauty of looking out for your fellow man.
That being said - when the health care laws were recently upheld by the Supreme Court I made a very conscious and deliberate decision to not comment. I was asked to give a quote to the local paper of what I thought about the situation but I knew that there is no way to truly explain my point of view in a few sentences, so I chose to stay silent. Truthfully I was afraid that there would be a backlash on my family, and on my workplace, and I am not willing to put either of those in jeopardy. But I will gladly continue practicing in my Godly/Canadian way.
And although I spend many days tolerating, and being quiet, and trying to ask introspective questions to make others think about their own comments/beliefs there are still times when I get pushed past my limit.
This week while seeing a patient he pointed out that he was quite upset at me over the specialist I had sent him to see, and would like to see someone else. I inquired further to find out why things had gone so badly and he informed me - "You sent me to see a damn Iranian!". .......silence.......*looks around the room for a hidden camera indicating this is a prank*......*realizes he is serious*.........RAGE.
I was actually so angry my hands were shaking as I pointed out to him in my poorly executed fake polite voice that this doctor was from India, not Iran, and they are not the same thing. He then clarified that he actually does not want to see any "foreigners or people from overseas, especially not those damn Iranians".......*I think I just burst an aneurysm*.........
You see the trouble with tolerance is that it doesn't seem to go both ways. No matter how much I try to tolerate, to be polite, to have open objective conversation about different points of view, there are still going to be people that are so completely ignorant and intolerant themselves, that it brings me over to the dark side and makes me intolerant of them.
Suffice it to say that by the time he left the clinic he was well aware that I was furious, and well aware that if he uttered racist or hateful things in my clinic again he would be dismissed as a patient. But like I said - it wasn't a satisfying feeling. It just made me feel like I was failing at tolerating.
I guess there is only so much that you can be asked to tolerate at anyone time. That being said - don't ask me my opinion on the Chik-Fil-A battle, I definitely don't have the energy for that!
Love
Pamela
Current list of things to work on: tolerance, patience
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