How to Pray

**Disclaimer: The following post is meant in jest...if you or anyone you know or love are offended by the contents, I am sorry...and do sincerely hope that you are able to get in touch with your silly side sometime soon. **

Have you ever felt like it might be fun to pray like an evangelical southern baptist type? Stop laughing...I know you have. Every once in a while you are in just the right sort of silly mood, and something just the right amount of fantastic happens, and you have the sudden urge to throw your hands up and say - AMEN sister!

Well today is that day. Maybe it's the coffee, maybe it's the new baby, maybe it's the fear and fatigue associated with studying for the licensing exam. Whatever it is, I'm in the mood to be loud in prayer, and while trying to express this to Somaiah (my most favourite Muslim friend) I realized - wouldn't it be a great public service to create a sort of "how-to" guide to praying out loud.

While researching this topic I came across some bizarre things. Apparently there is a whole book on how to pray for your wife! And then there are instructions on how to pray for missionaries, and the lost, and a very disturbing article on praying for Hindus since they are in darkness. Don't even get me started on how very very wrong and hurtful that is. (I love you Mallu and just for the record - I don't think you are a heathen!) I did find some specific instructions...but I'm not sure I agree with them....so here is my interpretation:

1) Location
Most people would have you believe that you should find a quiet place. Nuts to that! Find a loud place. Find an open place. Heck don't even 'find' - just do it wherever you are when the mood strikes you. Maybe if the people around you are shocked they will listen in and decide to do some praying themselves.

2) Posture
Refer to #1 - this is an anywhere, anytime type activity - so don't feel limited to kneeling or bowing your head. You can stand, you can run, you can look up at the sky while you sit in a tree. I don't recommend looking up at the sky while you run...that might end badly.

3) Language
This really determines what type of prayer it is going to be. If you want to be loud and evangelical - throw in lots of "Jesus our Lord and Saviour" and "Hallelujah". If you want to be traditional you might want to use old style words like "thou hast" and "unto me" and "lo"...even though I don't know what that one means.

4) Salutation
You probably want to start with introducing yourself to God, or reminding him after many years who you are. "Are you there God, it's me ____" - good. "Father God, what's up" - great! "Merciful Creator of all things great and small, who holds his hands over us at all times to shelter us and lifts us up in times of need..." - too long and flowery. You don't get extra points for the length of your prayer.

5) Key Areas (I learned this in my research too!)
Praise - Thank you for the amazing win by the Senators tonight.
Confession - I confess I did not watch the whole game.
Thanksgiving - I am so thankful that you let them win anyway.
Intercession (praying for others) - Please continue to bless them with many goals.
Petition (praying for yourself) - And grant me the strength to deal with all the Leaf-loving, Senator-bashing oafs that live in my corner of the world.

6) Closing
You probably want to officially end the prayer in case God just keeps listening and thinks your Tim Horton's order or your comments about a cute passerby are actually specific requests. "In Jesus' name" is always popular, but I feel like if you are going to leave a message for someone you should sign your own name, you know? Maybe something like..."Thanking you in advance, love your biggest fan, Pamela".

7) Schedule
There are some suggestions of creating a prayer schedule....from experience I know I do not follow schedules. If I did that, I would spend two days creating a colour coded schedule for praying, which would put me two days behind to begin with. At that point I'd have to go for coffee to discuss how behind I was, and then take a day to reflect on how to catch up, and finally abandon the plan. So I say - refer to #1 which says pray anywhere and anytime the mood strikes you!

Now go out there people - make a joyful noise unto the Lord :)

Lots of love
Pamela

Currently reading: I think we can all see I am procrastinating and not actually reading anything.