Might be a quarter-life crisis

Does someone have the handbook on life handy, cause I need a refresher course?

In the words of the wonderful John Mayer:

"Might be a quarter life crisis
or just a stirring in my soul
Either way I wonder sometimes
about the outcome of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?"

I think we are all familiar with the classic mid-life crisis. A sudden search for a new identity somewhat based on an inner fear that you are getting old. Well these days there is a new crisis out there for us melo-dramatic young people: the dreaded quarter-life crisis. Based on the recent purchase of two new pairs of shoes, multiple skirts so I can look pretty for no one in particular, a sprucing up of my car (since I can't afford a new one) and a continual pattern of running away to nowhere in particular - I think I'm in the thick of it.

As far as I can figure, the crux of the problem is that I am caught between being young/silly/immature and being grownup/serious/responsible/committed. I'm sure this seems very simple. Sounds like a situation where you could be a happy medium of both. And maybe some people who have it together can....but I can't seem to get it figured out!

I can get dressed up and attend a gala dinner....but at the dinner table I get into fits of laughter with the people around me and very nearly get kicked out. (Thank you Liza!) I can have a lovely civilized brunch with friends followed by a nostalgic wander through campus...but then I end up climbing a tree and making silly faces at the camera. (again - Thank you Liza!)


Part of me is lonely, but part of me likes being on my own and setting my own schedule. Part of me enjoys being close to my family, but part of me wants to run away and travel the world. Part of me wants to learn how to budget and save money and part of me buys waaaaaayyyy too many pairs of shoes! Part of me enjoys a stroll through the farmers market with my canvas bag and a homecooked delight, while part of me could eat pizza hut and kraft dinner until I die :) Part of me likes to knit, and quilt, and cook, and play piano, and part of me doesn't want all the boys my age to know that and realize what a domestic geek I am! hahaha

And above all - I really can't decide what I want to do with my life. I mean obviously I am going to be a doctor, and I'm 95% sure I'm going to do rural family medicine...but beyond that I'm lost. I can't even pick a side of the country let alone a specific school - and I have to apply in just a few short months. Someone suggested I flip a coin, but at this point I'd still need a multi-sided set of dice to narrow things down. I guess I always figured that by this age I would be settled down with someone, and the decisions would be made together. But here I am - ringless and directionless!

What should I do? No really - what the heck should I do? I have been listening to my favourite music all day looking for something inspirational to jump out at me, but I've yet to come up with anything. There have been some bible verses running through my head this week. But unfortunately - "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"(Romans 10:15) does not actually give my feet a DIRECTION!

So what have we established here? 1) Liza is a bad influence. 2) I need a direction. At this point I'm willing to go by popular vote on where I should go! Please post a comment with your vote for one of the following: BC (Kelowna), Alberta (Calgary), Ontario (Kingston or Ottawa), Nova Scotia (Halifax) or Newfoundland (St John) and I will post a running tally.

Lots of love
Pamela

Currently reading: Toronto Notes - Obstetics and gynecology....ugh ob/gyn elective starts tomorrow....I wish I had realized how much I hate vaginas before I arranged this!
Currently listening to: John Mayer

p.s. Random good news - I won a national scholarship competition! YAY! At least that will give me a bit of money to keep the banks away while I find a direction!